When Science and Magic Collide
by Cosette 24601
Summary: Two scientists got more than they asked for from the Large Hadron Collider. Instead of particles colliding, their world and Narnia has. And they just can't accept that magic is real. There must be a scientific explanation for this!
1. World Collision

**This is probably going to end up one of the most (if not the most) geeky Narnian fanfics. Yay for geekiness! Feel free to ask me about any of the science references here! And please, correct me if something is incorrect. There's a few subjects I only know the basic ideas of. And if you have an interesting ideas or funny jokes that could work, I'd love to hear them! **

**Thank you ResOmnesBeneFacere for suggesting using the Large Hadron Collider! **

Within the past few weeks, everything I knew has changed. And by changed, I mean science was my everything and somehow, science no longer seems to be able to explain what the hell is going on. Part of me is intrigued, but I mostly want to return to a world where everything makes sense. Where it's easy for me to understand. Like doing rocket science. Or quantum mechanics. Ahh, to be doing some easy multivariable calculus would be a nice relief. Anything but this magic, relgiousy voodoo that is Narnia.

It all started when I was interning in Cern in Switzerland over the summer, working on the Large Hadron Collider. It was honestly a dream come true. If science is a religion, than the LHC is the tabernacle. Or the altar. I'm not really sure what either of those are. I've never had time to bother with religion. Not sure why I'm bothering with metaphors either. I'm clearly no poet. But I digress.

I knew I wasn't supposed to be handling the Large Hadron Collider by myself. But… I had been here for weeks and all they had me doing was boring algorithms on a computer and paperwork. I just had to get a closer look!

So I snuck out. All I wanted was to see it up close I swear! I didn't intend for anything bad to happen! You know, maybe knocking stuff over wasn't my fault. I mean, if you subscribe to the idea of determinism rather than free will. Then I couldn't really help any of this now could I?

But anyways, regardless of whether determinism meant that the conditions could cause no other event or whether I'm just ridiculously clumsy, I managed to knock over an entire shelf somehow, which then let of a chain reaction of assorted objects falling like dominos.

"What the hell?" a voice with a slight accent called, entering. I glanced and vaguely recognized the person as another intern. His eyes suddenly grew wide as he noticed something behind me. I spun a 180 and saw that something had hit the LHC! We both ran over which in retrospect was probably the most foolish move we could have made. It was activated and warming up.

I can't fully remember what happened. Which even though my brain may have intentionally suppressed those memories still bothers me. I mean, I have knowledge somewhere inside of me of an experience none but the other intern and me have experienced! But the next thing I remember is waking to find crystalline water ice precipitating on my face. Okay, I mean that it was snowing. But crystalline water ice sounds so much more interesting, doesn't it? No?... Well then…

"¿Qué pasó?" the other intern who was next to me groaned, rubbing his head.

"I… I don't know," I admitted, hating to admit there was something I didn't know. But there was absolutely no scientific explanation for such an occurrence. Although I suppose we have to assume that anything that can happen will happen, right? Except I wasn't entirely convinced that this was something that _could_ happen…

"Huh… this is the first time I've ever seen snow," he commented.

"_What?_" I exclaimed. Although that was much easier to believe that anything else I had heard.

He shrugged. "It doesn't even really rain much where I live in California. So this is new to me. Anyways, I'm José. And you, chica?"

"I'm Ada. Named for Ada Lovelace," I said, shaking his hand.

"With being named after a woman like that, not surprising you'd be interning at Cern," he commented. "Let's go see if we can find anyone else here who can tell us where on Earth we are."

I'm fairly sure he had meant that statement figuratively, but it was rather ironic once we figured out we weren't from Earth. "Alright. I'm still having trouble accepting any of this."

"Alright… which way? And do you think we ought to walk quickly or slowly?" I mused.

"I dunno. The more I know about our momentum, the less I know about our position and vice versa," he joked.

"Ah, quantum physics. So beautiful. And so much less confusing than whatever _this_ is," I said, picking a random direction and heading off.

After a little while, he suddenly said, "Does something seem strange about the trees?"

I glanced at the trees and said, "I'm not a botanist."

"Neither am I… and there honestly aren't even that many trees where I live. But still. Does something just feel… pues… off about them?"

"I don't deal in _feelings_," I pointed out. "If there's something off about them, then I want to see evidence."

His eyes suddenly widened as he said, "Does that tree literally moving count as evidence?"

"It's just the wind – holy cow!" I shouted. The _roots_ of the tree were out of the ground as it waddled over to…_chat?! _… with another. "How… what?!"

We both stared in horrified awe for several minutes.

"Wait," I said, snapping my fingers. "I've figured it out."

"That there's something magical involved?" he said dubiously.

"Don't be ridiculous! Magic doesn't exist. It's clearly somehow we managed to end up in a different quantum universe. Y'know, like the multiverse theory? And in this one, somehow evolution patterns created…. that."

"It's…. possible," he mused. "I wonder what evolutionary track that would be. Do you think we should try to talk with them?"

"Let's go," I decided, my curiosity getting the best of me. And maybe if they dropped some twigs or something I could steal them to experiment on and try to understand this better.

But on the way, we heard more rustling in the trees.

"W-What do you think that is?" I said nervously.

"Dunno. In this… universe, anything," he said.

Suddenly, a half-goat, half-man creature sprung out of the woods. José and I screamed, not knowing what the hell was going on. The goaty man screamed too, as though terrified by us. Which I wasn't too surprised by since when I saw him I guessed that this may be a divergent path in this universe where these creatures evolved instead of humans. Although I had no clue what may have factored into that.

"A satyr. Or faun," José said incredulously as the creature hid from us in the trees.

"A what?" I frowned.

"From Greek and Roman mythology?" he prompted, but nothing came to mind. I never really cared for mythology much.

"But then how would people of our universe know of something that exists in a parallel universe?" I frowned.

"Dunno. Let's say hi," he said, walking forward. "Hello?"

When the satyr or faun or whatever didn't respond, José then tried, "¿Hola?"

He turned back to me with a shrug and said, "That's all the languages I know."

"I… I speak this language," the goatman/faun/satyr said hesitantly. "What… what are you?"

"We call ourselves humans," I supplied. I assumed that humans must not exist in this parallel world, so I was surprised to see him act terrified.

"Humans? In Narnia? Oh, dear. More of you?" he fretted.

"Um…"

"You've met other humans?"

"Well, I ahh, that is to say… We should speak elsewhere," he fretted. "Come to my house."

We exchanged glances. José shrugged, leaning in and whispering, "Two of us against him. And we'll catch hypothermia out here. I swear, it feels like its cold enough for the nitrogen in the air to turn liquid."

"You've seriously never experienced cold weather before have you?" I grumbled, knowing there was no way it was anywhere close to 77.2 Kelvin out here. But José had a point. Neither of us where dressed for snow, me in my "May the F = ma be with you" tank-top with short denim shorts and him in a T-shirt advertising some Chican activist group and jeans. "Let's go."

The faun motioned for us to follow him. Soon we came upon his rather cozy-looking home/cave thingie. It seemed a bit primitive, but at the same time the architecture seemed very cost-productive and well-built.

"My name is Tumnus," he introduced.

"José," José said, offering his hand.

"Ah, so you do the shake hands too?" he asked, shaking Josés hand in an odd manner. He then turned to me.

"Ada," I said, shaking his hand and trying to keep his hand from turning it into the same wild handshake he did with José.

While the faun went to prepare some tea, José picked up a book, "_Is Man a Myth_? What kind of book is that?"

"So… our mythology is their reality, and our reality is there mythology. There's only one explanation for this," I concluded.

"You actually made sense of this?" he asked, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"Yeah. This is all a hallucination or something someone created with augmented reality," I said.

"Then augmented reality has progressed in leaps and bounds to make something _this _real. And why would anyone do that anyways?" he frowned.

"Tea?" Tumnus offered.

"Thanks," we both said.

"So, Narnia? What is it?"

The faun launched into an explanation of the country. He then hesitantly told us about a White Witch – which made José mutter "reverse racism much?" under his breath – and how there was a prophecy about humans defeating her.

"So, the world here is deterministic and we know details like that here?" I commented. The faun merely gave me a blank stare.

"Wait, so do humans exist here or not?" José interceded, giving me a look.

"Well… I… Just the other day, I met this young girl named Lucy," he said. He told us how he had met her and that she had three siblings, the number of children in the prophecy. I was rather relieved that no one was going to try to make me support a dictatorship of any sort.

"So… where is this Lucy now?" I asked dubiously. I highly doubted she was literally from another world. Maybe another galaxy and there was somehow a wormhole between where she lived and here? Sounded more like a sci-fi novel than actual reality.

"She returned to her own world. I- I can bring you there," he offered nervously. "We'll have to be furtive though. If the Witch should find out that there are more humans here!"

He didn't finish his thought but I got the idea. I was intrigued by the idea of a possible wormhole and nodded eagerly. José seemed more reluctant, but then he nodded too.

"Kinda wanted to help overthrow a tyrant and install a democratic republic here," he muttered. I rolled my eyes.

Soon we were at a lamppost. "She walked through that brush right there to return to her city of War Drobe in Spare Oom," he said.

I suddenly was perturbed. Those didn't sound like names of places in any country I've ever heard of. More like something a silly child might make up. Nonetheless, my curiosity got the best of me so I went to go through it, José right behind me. Soon branches turned to .. fur?

"What the hell?" I said. This made even less sense than anything else had so far. I racked my brain. Nope. No explanations came to mind. A nagging voice in the back of my head suggested magic. I shoved that voice aside, refusing to believe in magic one bit. But nothing about this suggested a wormhole or anything that might be a stretch in science.

Soon it was all coats and almost pitch black. I felt something hard in front of me and pushed through a … a door? And soon we were what looked like a perfectly normal spare room.

It felt weird that I was saying it now that we were out of fantasy land, but I couldn't help saying, "Impossible…"


	2. Wardrobe Wormhole Duality

I freaked out when the door to the room this wardrobe was in creaked open. Then I felt a little stupid when a little girl walked in, covered in a pink robe and probably about half my age if even that.

"Who are you?" she asked cheerfully.

"Umm….." How exactly do we explain this? I decided for diverting attention. "And just what are you doing in this room so late at night?"

"I…I wanted to go in the wardrobe," she said shyly.

José and I glanced at each other. Did she know what was going on any more than we did?

"Lucy…" a voice started calling.

"Edmund!" she said, startled.

"Pretending Narnia exists again?" he sneered as a young boy rounded the corner. "Who the bloody hell are you?"

"Wait, you know about Narnia too?" José asked Lucy.

"You've been there?" she said eagerly.

"We… we just got out of there. But I don't understand how it exists," I said.

Her eyes lit up. "I need to tell Peter and Susan it's real!"

As she ran out, I tried calling her back, worried Peter and Susan might be adults who would commit us to an insane asylum. Well, even if they did, it's still possible to get a Nobel Prize and be remembered a genius. Just like John Nash. But still, rather not. The going to a psychiatric hospital part I mean. I would love the Nobel Prize and genius part of course.

Soon Lucy ran in. I was relieved that they were only a bit older than Lucy and Edmund.

"What's going on?" Peter said, rubbing his eyes as though he just got out of REM sleep.

"Who are you?" the girl demanded, pulling Edmund back so he was closer to her.

"I'm José."

"Um, I'm Ada," I said.

"And Lucy says you're from Narnia?" Peter said, sounding like he really didn't believe it at all.

"Well, we were in Switzerland, near Geneva," José began.

"Switzerland?" Susan said doubtfully. "Well, that's not so unusual. But how were you able to travel so easily with the war and all?"

"What war?"

"The Germans? How could you miss all of that?" Peter said incredulously.

"There hasn't been war in Germany since the Second World War," José said. I figured there wasn't, but my history was rubbish. I think Second World War was the Nazi one? "Back in the 1940s…"

"It _is_ 1940," both Peter and Susan said.

"What?!"

"What year do you think it was?" Susan said, crossing her arms and pursing her lips like an stern schoolteacher.

"2014," I said.

"Really? Who wins the war?" Peter said eagerly. Susan frowned and smacked his upside the head lightly.

"War isn't something that can be won. Everyone loses in war, but some more than others," José said.

"That was deep," I scoffed.

"It's true!" he protested.

"Anyways, pretty sure the Germans lose bad," I said offhandedly. "But this makes no sense. Time travel just plain doesn't exist. We weren't anywhere near relativistic speeds, and even if we were, that would only mean that time is relative and would pass less for us than for others. So, we'd still be moving forward in time, just less of it than others."

"That makes no sense," Susan said with a frown.

"That's relativity for ya," José joked. "Technically we could travel backwards in time if we exceeded the speed of light."

"Which is impossible."

"Well, there were those neutrinos at CERN three years ago," he joked. I laughed along with him. The four kids gave us rather blank, uncomprehending stares.

"The joke is that the scientists just messed up. A fiber optic cable wasn't properly attached and the clock oscillator was malfunctioning."

And yet they still seem unamused. I sighed.

"So the frickin point is, time travel is impossible," I concluded exasperatedly.

"And yet here we are," José pointed out. "So… time to reevaluate our concept of 'impossible'."

"Anyways, how did you get here?" Susan said. "Please don't tell me it was – "

"– Through the wardrobe," everyone said at the same time.

"But there was nothing at the back of the wardrobe when we looked! How could something sometimes work and other times not work?" Susan said in frustration. Believe me, girlfriend, I'm feeling that same frustration too.

"Just like an electron," José said suddenly. "If you watch it, it no longer acts like a wave, but as you would expect it to as a particle. When you're looking for Narnia, the wardrobe starts acting like a normal wardrobe as you'd expect it to. "

"Whatever are you talking about?" Susan said, sounding vaguely annoyed.

"A wardrobe isn't quantum," I retorted, rolling my eyes. "Way too huge."

"Still, the same concept could apply I suppose," he said hesitantly. "If we're actually looking for the… the… wormhole? Portal? I'm not sure what to call it. But if we're looking for it, it's not there. But when we stumble across it, it works. Maybe. Or I might be just talking nonsense."

"Or you might be definitely talking nonsense," Susan muttered under her breath.

Suddenly we heard footsteps.

"The Macready," the four children suddenly said.

"What?"

"The housekeeper. She'll be furious," Susan explained.

"We could hide in here," Edmund pointed out. I really didn't want to, but a housekeeper – especially one that terrified these kids so – might just call the insane asylum. Or worse, police. Peter and Susan also seemed hesitant to go in there, but they did. Soon we were all in the wardrobe. How friken ridiculous. I'm an adult (okay, still crippled by student loans) with a thriving career (well, sure it only just started, but hey, I worked at CERN) and I'm crouching in a crowded wardrobe with a bunch of kids who think it's the 1940s (the only possible explanation since time travel is not real!). And the kids don't even know science. I mean, come on. De Broglie was 1920s. So they should know wave-particle duality.

Suddenly, it grew cold again. Great. How the hell were we back in Narnia? The scientific impossibility of this was so great that I didn't even know what questions to begin asking.

Unsurprisingly, the three kids who hadn't been to Narnia were all shocked and apologized to the little girl. Then suddenly it ended up in a mad snowball fight somehow. I got bored, so I started drawing fractals in the snow to amuse myself.

"Pretty," José commented. I looked over and noticed he had written "Heisenburg might have been here" in the snow. I snorted. Then I noticed he had written a lot of stuff, mostly equations and such. Then something in a language I didn't recognize.

"El hielo anda suelto por esas calles?" I asked, probably messing up most of the words.

"The ice is … let's say loose. Over these streets," he responded. "Rough translation. Sounds better in Spanish."

"Fits," I commented.

"It's actually not about like icy ice at all but I thought it kinda fit. And if the ice is from an evil source like the faun said, all the better a fit since the ICE this song lyric refers to is evil," he said.

"Evil ice?" I said dubiously.

"Acronym," he responded. "Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Because of them I haven't seen my uncle since they sent him away when his son had only just been born."

"Oh…" I said awkwardly. Emotions and political stuff. I really couldn't deal with this. Since both were not science. Or since neither was science? Were science? Whatever. Grammar's not science either so also don't care.

"Are you coming?" Peter called. Apparently they had finished their snow fight and were headed somewhere.

"Where to?" I asked.

"Some friend of Lu's," Peter said.

"Mr. Tumnus," she said happily.

"Nah, been there done that. We'll go exploring somewhere else. I'd rather not go back to the one and only place I've been too," I said.

José shrugged. "Well, I guess I'll go with Ada then."

"And you really ought to go with your sister," Susan admonished.

"Wait, what? Do we even look like remotely like siblings?" José said dubiously.

"Do we?" Peter said cynically. "And yet we are."

"Wait, really?" I said. At least they were all the same race though. So it was certainly plausible although I would not have guessed it.

"Yes," Susan said.

And on that nonsensical note, we parted paths.

After wandering awhile, a lady dressed all in white showed up. Her skin was the palest thing I've ever seen, so now I get why she's called the White Witch. And she had to be the Witch. Looking at her terrified me more than the fact that there are people who don't believe in vaccinations.

"Are you the Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve?" she said, sounding furious and holding something. A wand maybe?

"Well… I'm someone's son. My dad's name is Ricardo though, not Adam. And she's someone's daughter, but how could we be multiple sons and daughters?" José said cynically. I smirked.

The Witch and her dwarf just seemed kind of confused.

"How many are there of you?" she said. "Have you any other siblings?"

"Really? Why does everyone keep thinking we're related today? We only just met each other?" José protested.

"Oh," the Witch said, seeming relieved. She suddenly seemed to be trying to turn on the charm. "Well… how about you come sit with me? You must be _awful_ cold there."

José looked like he might agree. Oh, right. Mister Never Seen Snow Before.

"We're not cold at all," I said, poking him in his side pointedly.

. "We were actually just on our way… over thataway."

"I accidently left my scarf there earlier so we're going to pick it up," I lied. Seriously José? The best he could come up with was "thataway"?

"But it can wait a bit longer, can't it," she said, a note of frustration under her pretty words. "Perhaps something to eat? Or drink?"

Awkward silence. No… didn't really want food from someone we had heard was a Witch. Not that I accepted magic was real. But it would be very easy to pretend to be a Witch by using chemistry to poison people with.

"I could go for some Turkish Delight," I said hesitantly. Not that I really wanted any. I just went for the first thing I could think of that I doubted the Witch would have.

"What's that?" José said.

"You've never had Turkish Delight?" I said.

"Nope. Hey do you have any good Mexican food? Been missing it so much while in Switzerland. I would even settle for a chimichanga, which is so not legit Mexican food," he said eagerly.

"I… I am afraid I am not familiar with chim- chi… that food you mentioned. Or Mexican food," the Witch said, confused. So was I quite frankly. "But Turkish Delight. Now _that_ I can do."

"Drat. I would kill for a decent tamale," he muttered. The Witch pulled out a dropper and made a platter of Turkish Delight appear out of the show.

"How is that possible?" I said incredulously.

"Who knew alchemy was legit?" José commented.

"Will you stop saying legit so much?" I said irritably. Although it was mainly misguided anger that made me lash out since I couldn't exactly get mad at science for seeming to be not working. I pulled up all the mental chemistry files I had. Nope. Nope. Nope. None of it made any sense of this craziness. Fantastic.

"Please, eat," the Witch offered. Crap. I couldn't exactly refuse seeing as I had technically asked for it, but that was most to see what she was going to do and because I thought she _wouldn't _have any. Well, here goes nothing.

"Thanks," I said, grabbing one and putting it in my mouth. Well, didn't taste poisonous. And I was rather… explorative as a child in chemistry labs so I actually had tasted some poisons and had to be rushed to the hospital. Course I hadn't tasted all poisons and some had no taste so who knew what chemicals could be in this Turkish Delight? Or maybe you don't even need chemicals to poison people in this backwards world. Yikes. Next thing you know people are going to try to tell me that this world is flat or that creationism is – to use José's favorite word – legit. Ugh.

Anyways, I still made sure not to actually swallow. Not that one necessarily had to swallow poison to be poisoned.

"And you, Son of Adam?"

I spat out the Turkish Delight while her attention was distracted.

"Ricardo's my father, and no thanks. I'm… I'm not that into squishy foods like that."

She looked frustrated for a second and then tried, "Perhaps something to drink?"

"I don't suppose you have any aguas frescas?" José tried.

"Will you stop it with the Mexicanness?" I said.

"Figured it was better to keep with this stuff that she doesn't have," he muttered.

"Um… do you have…. Purple lemonade? Light that is. I'm on a diet," I said lamely.

The Witch look fairly frustrated. "How about some hot chocolate?"

"Lactose intolerant," José and I both said simultaneously. I know I was lying. No clue if he was.

"What does that mean?" she asked. "Never mind. How about some wine?"

"I don't drink alcohol," we both lied. Well, I presume it was a lie. I mean, who doesn't drink? The Witch irritably put her flask away. Huh. So she was planning on poisoning us.

"I wish to speak with you. You see, I am old and need heirs to someday rule Narnia," she began.

"I don't believe in nepotism," José said. Course he didn't. I felt like rolling my eyes.

"Well… that is why I would rather pick such clearly intelligent young humans like yourselves rather than any relative of mine," she covered smoothly.

"Is there taxation in Narnia?" José asked. I looked at him, wondering where in the world he was going with this.

"Of course," she said, equally confused.

"But if the people do not choose who their rulers are, then it's taxation without representation," he protested.

Oh. My. God. All he needed to do now was turn into a fricken bald eagle and start singing "God Bless America."

"What do you think this is, the United States?" I said sarcastically.

"You're anti-democracy?" he said, sounding shocked.

"No, but I'm not going to go crazy through coffee in a harbor," I said.

"It was tea! And that was in the 18th century!" he protested.

"Whatever. I don't actually care."

"I… What are you talking about?" the Witch said puzzled.

"Nothing," we both said a bit too innocently.

"Just like, thanks for the offer, but I'm really only interested in governments which make an effort to represent their people. Although I've yet to find a government which legit does a good job of representing _all_ people rather than just the people they decide they care about more," he said. "Perhaps we should… exchange contact information. I'd be interested in working with you, but certainly not as an heir."

"I just really don't give a… care about government. I'm a scientists so I'll just be going?" I said hopefully.

"Well, I… Son of Adam, come here. See right there? I live there. Come seek me. And… if you should find other humans while here, bring them too. After all, you will need a place to stay the night, will you not? So come, find me my dears."

"Of course!" José said.

"Yeah, sure," I said.

As soon as she left, I said, "Okay. That was creepy. I'm kinda surprised she left so easily."

"She probably expects we will return. And she wasn't so interested in us after finding out we weren't siblings and there weren't four of us."

"So the Pevensies are screwed," I commented.

"So we need to help them," José concluded.

I raised an eyebrow. "Not our problem. I'm more worried about sciencing ourselves back into our own time."

"That's not a real word."

"Sure it's a real word."

"Not."

"Is."

"Not."

"Is."

"Whatever. What's next? Any ideas for how we're 'sciencing' our way back? If not, I'm finding the Pevensies and warning them," he said, starting to take off.

"Um… you just said 'if not', and you're already taking off," I pointed out, rolling my eyes. Seriously.

"Because we both know you have no clue how to get back. I mean, there's no way everything here can be explained by science," he shrugged.

"Everything can be explained with science!" I protested, although I honestly was at a loss for how to explain most of this. Which only made me more determined to figure it out.

He raised an eyebrow and gestured around.

"Just because I haven't figured it out yet doesn't mean I can't!" I snapped.

"Whatever. Come or don't come. I don't care," he said shortly, turning and walking away. Pompous, annoying jerk.

I frowned, but I really didn't want to be in the middle of nowhere alone. I ran over to follow him as he took off. He suddenly stopped, staring at something in the distance.

"Now what?" I complained as I caught up.

"Okay… I'll accept fauns. I'll accept a land in a wardrobe wormhole or whatever. Maybe even accept time travel as weird as that was… But this is really taking it too far!"


	3. Christmas Conundrum

"Merry Christmas," Father Christmas said, his eyes twinkling as we approached him.

"Nice costume?" I attempted feebly, hoping it might be just that. Ha. As if anything has been sensible since the collision accident.

"I think we both know this is no costume, Ada," he said.

"How do you know my name?" I said suspiciously. Older men who wear Father Christmas costumes who creepily know my name are never a good sign. Not that that had ever happened to me before…at least, not all three at once.

"How is Santa Claus even possible?" José said incredulously. He seemed to have a particularly hard time swallowing this surprise. "Like, just…just no!"

"Mhmm, I'm having quite a lot of trouble believing this too," I said. "Stopped believing in you when I was five and caught my parents putting out gifts that were labeled as being from you. Stopped believing in most anything at that point actually."

"Ahh, but did you not see their surprise when you unwrapped that periodic table blanket?" he said.

I gaped. Alright, maybe some random stranger who pretends to be Father Christmas somehow overheard my name. But how the hell would he know that of all things?

"I…I did think it odd that they would give a three year old that gift before I was even that into science. Actually that and science play kit thingie were part of my inspiration to go into science. Which…which they also seemed very confused by," I said, realizing as I went on just how many times my not-that-into-science parents had been confused by my opening gifts, mostly science ones. Actually, most of the best gifts. Well, best and science go hand in hand of course.

"And you, José. You received a fairly big Christmas gift one year," he said. "Although it came about a week early. Just five years ago."

"That mysterious stranger…when I almost got beat up," José said slowly. "That…that was you? No offense but that guy was…well there's no way of saying it without being offensive. Fit."

Father Christmas, rather than being insulted, chuckled. "I come in many forms."

"And yet almost all of those forms are Caucasian," José scowled.

"Actually, my favorite form is the world in which I have blue skin. But that's another story," he said off-handedly. José and I exchanged confused glances. Wasn't there some movie with weirdly tall blue creatures?

"Wait, so there are other worlds?" José asked cautiously. "Like…the multiverse?"

"How are you able to exist in both worlds? Or either world really?" I asked.

"Perhaps you simply need to believe," he said with a jolly wink.

Um. Okay. Sure Father Christmas was associated with belief, but ….I don't even know. Even is Father Christmas was real in our world – something I was for sure _not _convinced of – how could he exist in the same context in another world? Although if he knew eerily specific details about both of us from our own world, then perhaps he travels between both world? Although scientists often estimate Father Christmas would have to travel over a thousand kilometers in a second to get through every house on Christmas so how the hell would he manage two worlds in one night? Or heck, how would Christmas even exist unless someone had invented Christ in this world as well?

"Well, I must be off. But we're forgetting the most important thing," Father Christmas said jovially.

"What's that?" I asked cautiously. He then pulled his bag off the sleigh. "Oh, right. Presents. Because you're Father Christmas."

He chuckled before sobering and pulling out a piece of paper. "For you, Ada, Daughter of Eve."

"You know my mother's name?" I asked, although it was hardly the most surprising thing that had happened yet.

"Yes, but that isn't the Eve I was referring to," he said with a chuckle. "Open it up."

"A map?" I asked although it was more than that. It seemed almost alive. In fact, there was two pins where I was standing, one blue one pink. What was this? A paper Google Maps? I hadn't seen evidence of technology anywhere near having the potential for satellites.

"It will show you and José where you are in any world," he explained.

I looked up from the map slowly. "In any world?"

"And José, Son of Adam," Father Christmas said, annoying me by ignoring my question. Not that it was exactly a first as a female in a male-dominated field. "For you."

"A…A calculator?" he said dubiously.

"This is a homing beacon that will return you home when you have decided what that is," he said.

"What does that even mean?" he frowned.

"Well, I must be off! And I would recommend you travel to the Stone Table next on your adventures," he said, returning to his sleigh. "Merry Christmas! And long live Aslan."

"Adam and Eve," José suddenly said.

"Who?" I frowned.

"Adam and Eve. That's the whole Daughter of Eve and Son of Adam stuff is about," he said.

"Again, who?" I said, even though it sounded vaguely familiar.

"You've got to be kidding me? From the creation story?" he said.

"Oh, right. That thing," I sniffed.

"But…how the hell would…never mind. Just, never mind," he said. "It's easier to believe that he would know something random like that than most of the rest of the stuff he knew."

"So…is Father Christmas _creationist?_" I asked incredulously.

"So how the heck does this…calculator homing beacon work?" José said, distracted by his…I don't even know what to call it. Let's just go with present.

"Dunno. What was all that nonsense about deciding where home is?" I frowned.

"No clue. None of the buttons are pressable. Almost feel like chucking this out, but it's from Father Christmas so I'd feel bad throwing it," he said. "Maybe it's magic."

I started laughing but he gave me an odd look. "What?"

"I was serious," he frowned. "Best explanation for everything so far."

"No way. No fricken way," I protested.

"Santa Claus was the giving up point for me. I mean they've calculated that he'd have to travel at 650 miles per hour. And don't forget the ridiculous air resistance that would create. And he must be immortal or something. And where does he even get the raw materials to create presents?" José said. "There's honestly no scientific explanation left."

"So what? You just assume magic's the next best possibility?" I said, annoyed.

"We just met Santa Claus of all people. That makes me just a bit more open to believing in magic," he said just a bit sarcastically.

"Okay yeah that was weird, but I'm sure there's perfectly acceptable reasons behind all of this…stuff," I said lamely, knowing full well that I had many, many more questions than I did answers.

"Whatever. Honestly, let's go to the Stone Table. Hopefully your map is more helpful than this homing…thing," he said.

"We're really planning on going there?" I said skeptically.

"Well, we don't exactly have anywhere to go, so might as well trust Santa Claus and see where the adventure takes us," he shrugged. "On a second thought, forget that bit about adventuring. It sounds like what every story character says right before everything goes to hell."

"It's not like we're any safer here. And I rather do want to see if this map actually works. Although I'd prefer Google Maps. Or Yahoo," I said.

"Hmm, I don't think internet works here," he joked.

"No kidding. Well, this way," I said.

As we walked along, we were in silence for awhile. We both were clearly looking at the unusual changing of seasons that was occurring right before our eyes. It was as though we had mutually decided to not bring up another problem. Although I suppose that enough heat could make the snow melt fast. But then the plants were quite literally blooming before our eyes like something from _Alice in Wonderland._ I think. Or were the plants on drugs in Wonderland? I never had much of a knack for remembering fantasy stories. Apparently though José's thoughts were still elsewhere because suddenly, out of nowhere, José again said, "I still can't believe Santa Claus is real!"

"You're the one who gave in to believing in _magic _of all things," I retorted.

"Here's hoping the Stone Table holds some answers," he said with a raised eyebrow.

"You mean and not more questions? I have a feeling that won't be the case," I pointed out.

"Ah, one can hope, right?" he said sheepishly. "How's that map working?"

"Great. It seems to be following us perfectly," I said. "Creepy that."

"Maybe…Maybe this world is more technologically advanced than we thought and can make technology so small and thin like this?" he suggested.

"Where's it getting it's signals from?" I pointed out.

"Just …Will you work with me here? I'm trying to make up some non-magicy solution!" he said in frustration.

"Okay, but it's not a frickin solution, unless it fully solves the damn problem!" I said in frustration.

"Ahhh…speaking of solutions…" he suddenly said. I followed his gaze to see a bunch of tents set up with…I wasn't even sure what.

"Are those animals?" I said incredulously.

"And…more fauns…and…centaurs," José said, his face distorting in confusion. "How…Just….how?"

"Is that a …tornado?" I said uncertainly as I looked at a whirling mess of leaves.

"I've never seen a tornado, but I'm pretty sure they don't suddenly take the form of a woman," he said with an eyebrow raised. "I know there's a word for that…."

"For leaves turning into women?" I said incredulously.

"For tree spirit thingies," he said as though that clarified everything. Which of course it didn't.

"So…The map says the Stone Table is smack dab in the center there. Still game for it?" I asked.

"Why not? Just…don't do anything embarrassing," he said.

"Excuse me?" I asked, offended.

"Like, don't ask them what evolutionary track made them this way. That's kinda offensive," he pointed out.

"I seriously want to know though…" I whined.

"Just promise, okay?" José said

"Fine," I said, rolling my eyes. Then I saw the two boys on horses swordfighting. "Are those the boys from before?"

"Forget the boys. Is that a _unicorn?_" José said looking way too excited about unicorns. No guys should be that excited about unicorns of all things.

"José? Ada? Is that you?" Peter shouted as he galloped over on his unicorn.

"Whoa, horsey," Edmund said as he galloped over.

"My name is Phillip," the horse said, sounding annoyed. Wait…no. Just no. How would that even work with a horse's anatomy?

"Oh, um, sorry?" Edmund said, sounding justifiable startled.

"You…have swords now?" José began lamely. "Seems violent."

"Yeah, why use swords when guns work so much better?" I said, half meaning it and half trying to piss off José.

"Um, it's for…the war. That we're apparently fighting now," Peter said.

"Just how old are you, kid?" I asked, giving him a glance that made him flush with annoyance.

"What war?" José interrupted.

"To fight the White Witch," Phillip answered. Poor Edmund. He still didn't look quite too okay with a horse talking to him.

"And they're letting kids into the army?" José said skeptically.

"Actually," Peter said, exchanging a look with Edmund. "Um…We're supposed to be leading the army."

"What?!" José spluttered.

"You are so dead if that happens," I said, an eyebrow raised. From the looks of them they barely knew how to ride their horses – er, horse and unicorn. There was no way they were ready for fighting a war.

"That's kinda what we said when they told us," Peter said sheepishly.

"Is that a beaver?" José suddenly asked.

Sure enough, a talking beaver – you know, I'm just going to roll with it and not ask for once – came up and told them that the White Witch was coming to speak with Aslan.

As we walked, José asked, "So, um, Ed. Why did you look particularly terrified about the White Witch?"

"I…I kinda went to her palace. And…" Edmund said, looking terrified about every word he was saying. Poor kid. He looked like he was terrified that his brother might hit him at any moment.

"Ed, you don't have to tell them if you don't want to," his brother said, unusually gentle.

"Why not? Everyone else knows already," he said morosely.

"The…the White Witch tricked Edmund into going with her. But now he's safe here with us," Peter said firmly. So much so that I was sure he was hiding some details. But I was never the gossipy type so I didn't really want to pry…at least not too much.

"No, it…it wasn't a trick," Edmund said before launching into the story.

"Damn. No wonder you didn't want to face her again," José said with a low whistle.

"So…now I kinda see your motivation for wanting to go to war against her, but you're still definitely dead," I said pessimistically as we headed for an area of the camp where everyone was staring. Mostly in Edmund's direction.

"Thanks," Edmund said sarcastically.

"Edmund! Peter!" Susan said as she launched herself at them. "Ed, are you feeling fine? How are you?"

"Fine for now," he said pessimistically, looking towards the White Witch who was entering the camp.

"José," I said, jerking my head to the side. He stepped over so we could talk in private.

"Yeah?"

"So…once she sees us here, she'll assume we've chosen sides. Is that actually what we want though?" I asked.

"Uh…hadn't thought about that. I'd rather here than with _her_, but you heard what they said about establishing a monarchy. Or…well, there's four. Quadrarchy?" he said, frowning as he tried to figure out the right word which was clearly the biggest priority we had at the moment. Not.

"So…is your issue their age? Because I found that very strange too," I said.

"I just don't support monarchies – or quadrarchies - ever. Unless it's a constitutional monarchy that isn't just the elite ruling," he insisted.

"So…good luck with that," I said somewhat sarcastically.

He gave me a look. "Anyways, we in or out?"

"Um…Ah…it's up to me?" I said, hoping it would be up to him instead. Although my hesitation was quite different. If José's homing thingie actually worked I'd go back in an instant.

"Might as well. I do somewhat want to support the overthrow of the Witch's tyranny, but I'm worried it would just be in exchange for another autocracy, particularly one in which people might take advantage of them and get ever worse laws passed," he said. "But I feel like I have to do something, you know."

"Why do you even care? For all we know this is some hallucination someone projected into our minds. That's the only explanation I've been able to come up with that doesn't have a million loopholes," I said.

He looked at me for a moment before pinching me.

"Ow! What was that for?" I protested.

"Was that just in your mind?" he pointed out.

"Well, I suppose someone could trick the pain signals sent to my mind?" I suggested.

"Dios mío," he muttered. "You'll never give up, will ya? Anyways. Decision. Now. Before the Witch gets here and makes the decision for us."

"Ah, too late. Guess our decision's made for us," I said, glancing past José to see the Witch riding in on a litter. As if walking was too damn hard. "Unless the third option of suddenly being magically sent home is possible."

"I wish," he muttered. "Kay, let's go back."

The Witch was accusing Edmund of being a traitor the moment we walked up. Predictably, his brother tried to defend him, but the Witch said something about some Deep Magic.

"Oh, crap. She is not seriously talking about _magic,_ is she?" I muttered. José unfortunately seemed completely engrossed in the conversation. "José. José."

"What?" he whispered back, annoyed.

"_Magic?_" I said.

"Different world, different rules? Maybe magic is just unexplained science here?" he attempted, although it was almost condescending as though he was simply saying it to placate me.

When the Witch went into a tent with Aslan we could speak more freely.

"They aren't really going to accept some magical claim to 'his blood', are they?" I said incredulously.

"Looks like it. And seriously, he's a kid! And from the sound of it, honestly he didn't really do anything," José said. "He says he had no clue who the Witch was when he first talked with her. And all the rest of the information he gave her seemed to be to save himself and others. Which of course didn't really work. So he's kinda not the smart. But not really a traitor."

"Yeah, well it seems they're all buying it. So let's get out of here before we start getting accused as traitors for talking with the Witch as well," I said, not really caring about whether Edmund was a traitor or not. I mean, the kid was probably not even a teen yet. What kind of world tries a kid for capital punishment regardless of what he's done? Heck, what kind of world considers capital punishment an appropriate punishment for a crime that hurt no one?

"And let a kid possibly die?" José protested.

"I've never really liked kids all that much. Not even when I was a kid," I said, trying to sound as emotionless as possible. I mean, sure kids aren't too bad. At a distance. A distance inversely proportionate to their age.

"Well, that's your heartlessness then," he said, giving me a perturbed look.

"Oh my god. I'm so tired of people judging me for not wanting to have kids," I said in frustration. "You can have your perfect husband and wife and two kids type of life, but it's not for me!"

"Okay. One. There's a huge difference between not wanting to have kids and wanting a kid to die. Two. Why the hell would I want a wife?" he protested.

"I don't want him to die," I protested. In my reaction to that bit, I had missed the second interesting thing José had said and didn't get back around to it until later. "I just don't care enough to do something about it. Plus, there's a whole army here wanting to protect him. Trained warriors. Unless there's something we can do with science…"

"Yeah?" José asked, realizing I was onto something.

"There…could be. If magic isn't real in this world," I began.

"So…you're starting to think science might be real?" he clarified.

"I'm starting to think that…that I just don't know what to think," I said unhelpfully. "But…how is she planning to kill him? If we could somehow fake his death…"

But at that point Aslan walked back out and said, "She has renounced her claim on the Son of Adam's blood."

"That's a rather melodramatic way of putting it," I commented.

"Something's up here," José frowned.

"Cut it out, Sherlock. If there's no death, there's no death. Can't you just be happy?" I said.

"No…Let's find out what's going on," he insisted.

"No, let's not," I whined.

"Aslan might have some answers for us about how we got into this world or whatever this is," he suggested.

"Okay," I agreed without thinking. Dammit. We hadn't even know each other that long and he already knew how to manipulate me.

"Um, hi. Um, Aslan?" José said awkwardly. He glanced at me and I shrugged. I had no clue how to address the …the military leader? …either.

"Welcome, Son of Adam. Welcome, Daughter of Eve," he said gravely.

"Crap, not that again," I muttered under my breath. More audibly, I said, "Hi. Um, we have some questions we rather wanted to ask."

"I know," he said so gravely that it startled me.

"Okay. Um. You know. So…would you mind answering?" I said when José seemed lost for words. More accurately, he was looking at Aslan as though he had seen a ghost.

"Do I know you?" José suddenly blurted out. I looked at him incredulously. I had been with him this entire time we were…whatever this is. Just how many talking lions did he know from our world?

Aslan gave what I think was a lion's equivalent of a chuckle. It's hard to tell when you're still not sure whether you're about to be eaten or not. Seriously hoping for the "not".

"Yes, my child. But you will know me better here. But Ada, you have yet to meet me in your world, although I have called to you," he said.

"Huh?" I said, confused. But José seemed to somehow understand. I decided to file that away to ask about later since José somehow got it. There were other questions that José wouldn't be able to answer. "So hey, do you have any clue how we…how we got here? Wherever here is?"

"You came because you needed to," he answered.

"That….that's not too helpful," I said, frowning.

"It is the truth. None come to Narnia who do not need it," he said.

"I…I see why she needs it," José said.

"Hey!" I protested, even though I was still completely clueless about what was going on.

"But I…I already know you. At least I think I do," he frowned.

"But you will know me better here. And perhaps know me in more worlds to come," he said gravely.

"Huh?" I interjected, but José was nodding gravely as though the lion had said the deepest, most profound crap he had ever heard.

"So, you plan for us to travel to more worlds?" he said slowly.

"More worlds will find you, my son. Whether you choose to follow your path there is up to you," he said gravely.

"What the heck is going on?" I interrupted, annoyed that the lion and José seemed to be totally having a moment here and ignoring me.

"So…What are these other worlds?" José asked eagerly. Or apprehensively. I wasn't quite sure which. Wasn't quite sure whether he was sure either.

"You must find that for yourself," he said seriously.

"So, how do multiple worlds exist?" he pressed.

"Some worlds have science, other's more magic," Aslan said. "Not everything you find will make sense to you."

"Okay…" José said uncertainly.

"Let's just cut to the chase. Can you get us back home? And if you can, what do we have to do to get you to allow us to?" I said impatiently.

"Father Christmas has already given you the way. But is that truly your home?" he said.

"Well, I am kind of a lone wolf, but I like it that way," I said defensively.

"I…I guess not," José said, although he didn't really elaborate. "So…we're traveling between worlds for awhile now?"

"Only you can know the path you walk," Aslan said gravely.

"Thanks for being so helpful," I said sarcastically. "How does magic work?"

"Until you let go of such rules, magic will not exist for you," he said.

"Isn't the Deep Magic thingie a type of rule? And about that…" José said.

"The Witch renounced her claim," he said solemnly.

"At what price?" José pressed.

"The sacrificial lamb can always be offered in a sinner's place," Aslan said before padding off.

"Um, what…what…and what?" I said.

"Sacrificial lamb…" José said musingly.

"So how the heck do you think you know him?" I said.

"He…He's Jesus," he said.

"Um, who?" I said.

"Don't tell me you don't know who Jesus is!" he said, shocked.

I grinned. "Just wanted to see your reaction. Course I do. Kind of."

"He…He's Jesus in this world. He has to be," José said determinedly. "Which means…sacrificial lamb…Oh my _god_."

"What's wrong?" I asked. Again José looked as though he had seen a ghost.

"Aslan intends to die," he said.

"Why is that the first conclusion you draw?" I frowned.

"Come on. Sacrificial lamb? That was the whole reason why Jesus died," José said. "To be the ultimate sacrifice."

"Yeah, um, beyond the fact that I've occasionally had the weird cuckoos come up to me waving a Bible in my face to tell me Jesus died for me, I know nothing. So lambs are new to me," I said.

"Okay so he was referred to as the Lamb of God because he was the sacrifice to no longer need sacrifices. So, Aslan is sacrificing himself to make it so the Deep Magic no longer needs sacrifices," he said.

I gave him a blank look. "You…You're basing this all on it's sort of similar to the Bible, which isn't real either?"

"Wow," José said, widening his eyes in annoyance. "Do you not have a filter for these things? Yikes. And Aslan confirmed it. He's….He's Jesus in this world."

"You've got to be kidding," I said, rolling my eyes. I was seriously not wanting to hear this conversation. The list of sane people in Narnia has now become just me. "But what are you going to do? So what, he's going to be dead if what you say is true."

He gave me a peculiar look.

"What?" I said, completely lost.

"You really know nothing about the Bible, do you?" he said, looking almost amused.

"We've already established that," I said, pissed. "So why don't you just tell me whatever it is that you're not telling me?"

"Jesus comes back to life," José said.

"Okay, so if your wacko theory is true, Aslan's coming back to life so there's nothing to worry about," I shrugged, mostly just humoring him.

"That's not the problem," he said.

"What is the problem?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"The Witch is sure to attack when Aslan's gone. So she'll have the space of almost three days to do whatever she wants," he said.

"Huh?"

"Jesus came back to life on the third day," he explained.

"Fine. Whatever," I said. I thought I had kept from rolling my eyes, but then José gave me a look.

"Fine. Believe what you want. But he'll be dead by tonight," José said.

"That sounds more like a threat than a prediction," I said with a frown. "Besides, what do we care? All I got out of that was that he's not going to send us back to our own world and that he thinks there are different worlds. So I'm going to go with the multiverse then."

"And what's to say in one of those universes Jesus wouldn't be a lion?" José said.

"I don't think in any of those universes Jesus would be anything but a phony," I retorted.

"Fine. Think what you want. But I'm going to go get busy," he said.

"Doing what?" I said, confused.

"Finding stuff to maybe rig something up for explosions when the Witch comes for battle," he said nonchalantly.

"Now I'm more interested," I said, relieved to be getting off the religiousy topic. "But…I still kind of want to leave."

"And just how do we do that?" I said, eyebrow raised.

"Lucy and Edmund both returned through that wardrobe wormhole thingie. So what if it's maybe the wrong time. Better than being here. Let's go," I insisted. A small voice in my head pointed out that maybe pushing José was a bad idea. But I was so through with this.

"Um, no," José said awkwardly.

"No?" I said incredulously. "You're just going to stay here?"

"I'm not going to leave now that I realize what's going on here," he insisted, raising his voice.

"You have no fricking clue what's going on here! You're just making this up to explain stuff you don't understand," I shouted.

"You mean like how you're stretching science past its limits to try to explain something that is _never_ going to be explained by science!" he retorted angrily.

"Better than making up complete garbage to explain it," I sneered.

"You know what? You don't believe anything anyways and_ clearly_ don't want to be here so go. Just go. Save your life since apparently you don't care about much else," he said bitterly.

"Maybe I will," I retorted, stung by his accusations. Although come to think of it, there wasn't anyone I could name that I really did care about. Maybe my parents, but I hadn't really contacted them much since graduation.

"Fine. Then just go."

"I am," I said. "Goodbye. Have fun dying."

"I will! I mean…Not fun. But…you know what I mean," he said angrily.

I spun around and stormed out of there as fast as I could. I yanked out my map to find my way back to the wardrobe. I scanned the area, unsure of where it was. But I knew it was where Tumnus lived, which was oddly marked on the map. I mean, why is that important enough to make it on the map? But I headed out there in the cold, determined to leave Narnia behind.


End file.
